coming soon. i've been busy livin' life.

Home is where the heart is...

Get ready for a slightly more serious post. I'd much rather post less serious topics..... but what can i say? We all have our weaknesses.

Right?

What if you don't know where you heart is? I live in Dallas, I spent the best years of my life in Fayetteville, Arkansas... and I was raised in Little Rock, Ar... The one place I'd rather be than anywhere else is a river in North Arkansas. The people I'd be happiest with are in Texas, France, Missouri, New York, and Arkansas. Unfortunately... life depends mostly on ability and less on necessity. (yes, believe it or not, I'm an optimistic realist.) Luckily, Not all who wander are lost... But how long can I wander?

I went back to Little Rock this weekend to visit my family and attend the wedding of a good friend. I know the city like the backside of my hand. every pothole.. every shortcut. I know the people, I know the landscape. My family lives there. I love them.. .but it still doesn't feel like home.

So is the heart really what defines home? If i'm single does that mean I'm homeless? of coures I love my family and friends... but what is the defining point of a pure heart? Love, Friendship, Hope?

I'm a happy person... but I have no clue where i belong.

WHERE IS MY HOME?

Bear with me.

Originally, I thought it was "Bare with me," but apparently that means to get nekkid (as we saw in Arkansas) with someone. I may tend to wander a bit in this one.. but not all who wander are lost. I had already written this once when i accidentally closed the page and deleted the entire thing. I'm sure it was meant to be... I'm headed to LR this weekend. My great friend Sarah Maulden (Soon to be Sarah Green) is getting married on Saturday evening. I can still remember driving my grandmother's golf cart all around the neighborhood with Sarah when we were 15. Good times. I'm very happy for her. I'm thinking about taking an over/under on how many times my mother will ask me when I plan on getting married... Let my remind everyone, i'm very single and about as far from marraige as one can be. Gotta love mom! Riverfest is also this weekend. I can't remember the last time I was able to make it. Alright, it's gonna get choppy from here. I'm exhausted and can't for complete thoughts. Ms. Alison Pantuso is joining me for the road-trip to Arkansas. Should make for an exciting adventure. The Third Eye Blind concert is in 18 days, and I can't wait. I've really needed something to look forward to. This is the first time i've ever spent the majority of my summer in an office building. It doesn't help that it is the NHL off-season and there's not too much to do. I've planned a few vacations to fayetteville, float trips, and various outings to keep me busy. Should help me keep my head on straight. The work-out routine is going very well. For the first time in my almost 23 years on Earth I have consistently exercised and eaten healthily. I go to the gym almost every day and it really feels great. I wouldn't say i'm dieting, but i'm certainly more concious about what I eat. The extra energy is nice. I don't plan on having a 6-pack and 18 inch biceps by August, but it's good to know i'm making the effort. Ask my how i'm doing in a year and hopefully i'll have good news. I wish i could do some trail running around here, but since Dallas is 500 billions square miles of concrete and black-top i'm stuck with the Village gym. (It's not too bad) Okay.. here's some pictures from the last month.
My dad came to town on business and we got to go see the Rangers play Oakland A's. It rained all day, and the game was delayed about an hour. Thankfully, the baseball god's cleared up the skys and the Rangers squeezed in 5 1/2 innings and the win. Great experience.

Mike loves Sati. Sati loves Mike

I took this picture at Fair Park.


That evening, Mike and I enjoyed some "Jungle Joose."

A few weeks later, I got to see the Mavs vs. Nuggets, game 4 in Dallas. Suite seats with Cal.


Thanks for stopping by, I'll work for a common theme next time.

June 8th

I have tickets... Frankie Salerno's coming to town to see them and it's going to be pretty ace. Things are going well in Dallas. It's been a while since I've updated. I've started consistently working out for the first time in 23 years and damn it feels good. I'm a little surprised with myself but I actually look forward to going to the gym after work. It's a great feeling to have. Now I just have to keep it up.
Baseball Regionals are coming up in Fayetteville in a few weeks and I'd really like to be there. Hopefully everyone hasn't left town by then. I'm sure there will still be a small crowd of students in town. I'd kill to live another summer in the ville. Pool days at the crowne, naps on the balcony, tilly-willy creek and I even miss summer classes... ya thats right. Hopefully my first summer in Dallas will be enjoyable. I imagine it will be a bit different. I'm working 40 hours a week for the first summer ever. I've always had a job, but it was in between semesters. No more semesters for me, atleast not until grad school.
On an entirely unrelated note. Jimmy Fallon's late show sucks. I'm dying for Conan to come back. Leno's pretty good, and Letterman is too. I guess it's a good thing. I'm older and therefore going to bed early. Once this new layout gets going I may get to enjoy Conan and Leno. Damn I'm so old. Listen to me. It used to be "what party should we go to tonight.." now it's "Boy i'm glad Conan's coming on earlier, no i can get to bed early!" This is sad. I need someone to make me young again.

The OTT of War

A Wealth of Giggles

Vacation

I have a decision to make... For the first time in a few months, I have saved up enough money to take a vacation. By vacation, I mean I get to spend a weekend outside of Dallas. And I have some options. Let's break things down.

I could go to Austin for SXSW (March 20-22nd) to see THIRD EYE BLIND. I think it's pretty obvious that 3eb is my favorite band. I have several friends in Austin, and there is an abundant amount of very attractive ladies in Austin, TX. Being in a "college town" would be nice, considering I've been out of touch for the last few months. This of course is despite my obvious love for the band. Downside... The Cost. Gas; normal ($60 roundtrip), Place to stay, probably free... Bars; expensive, Concert; really expensive. (wristbands for the festivals cost $120.) I'd certainly have to weigh my options.

Fayetteville... I would give my left testicle to spend a considerable amount of time in Fayetteville. But a weekend is the best I can do. Northwest Arkansas just happens to be the closest to Heaven I've ever been. I realize I haven't lived there in almost 9 months (I can't believe it's been that long). 3 out of the 5 happiest moments of my life (Yes, I've kept track over the past 22 years) were in Fayetteville. Fayetteville has been the setting of my greatest memories, best friends, greatest lessons, craziest evenings, and overall most fun. To be there for a baseball weekend would be the ultimate experience.

La Rochelle, France - Je ne parle pas francais... I haven't kicked it with Lee is almost 6 months. However... A flight to Paris cost a minimum of $500... not to mention the train to La Rochelle ($50) and what it might cost as a tourist in France... ($$$). This is a big deal... A week in France equals almost 3 weekends in LR, Austin and/or Faytown...

Little Rock, AR... Cheap and Boring. Very Very cute UofA Alum....

So as you can see. I face the ultimate dilemma.

Morning playlist.

well last night, I made the mistake of working out too late in the evening... and turns out, when you take supplement past 8 you can't fall asleep til at least 3:30.

So my alarm went off at 7:15 (I had it turned up extra loud today) and these were the first 4 songs that went off... Tell me this isn't an eclectic mix.

Coldplay - Viva la Vida
Cranberries - Linger
Outkast - Hey Ya
Naked Eyes - Always something there to remind me

What kind of radio station is this?!?

3 wishes

If you found a magical lamp and Robin Williams came out and gave you three wishes what would they be?

I'd have a hard time choosing, but part of me thinks I'd pick talents over materials... at least for two of the three. Ok so rules... you can't wish for 1,000,000 more wishes. The genie would whip your ass if you did that. And according to Aladdin, you can't wish for true love. (Weak sauce, that's what I'd ask for first.) And no wishing for world peace. That's just not in the cards.

So....I'd wish I was musically talented... like a savant, off-the-charts talented. Like, pick up a guitar and replicate anything. That would be fun. Talk about life of the party. Oh... wanna learn how to play the mandolin? Bam!; You're a bluegrass king. Sing like Robert Plant, Leon Redbone, John Mayer, Stephen Jenkins, Usher... done. Guitar like Hendrix, BB King, Duane Allman, Chuck Berry... Oh the possibilities.

So what's next?

Maybe a permanently healthy body. Not so I could abuse it with booze, food, or smoke... but more so that I could enjoy it. Being able to be athletic and busy into my older age. Run til my feet fall off, play any sport I want. Not like abnormally athletic; and I don't want to live forever; just very very healthy, strong, agile, and resilient.

One last wish. It gets tricky here...

I could wish for money, stunning good looks, power, fame...

I think maybe I'd wish for the ability to see my true self, just once. I mean, this may suck... I'd probably see stuff I didn't want to see; but it gives you the best chance to be who you truly wish to be. I think it's hard sometimes to be who we want to be, because we judge ourselves by the reactions of those around us. Esse quam videri... I think it'd be a great chance to be who I truly want to be.

I dk... maybe that's a little too much. How about 100 billion dollars. You can have some.

more later.

Nothing special, but I like these.

I could listen to this for hours.

More rambings.

Not a whole lot going on. Things seem kinda quiet now that the Holidays are over. They Stars are being their normal selves and screwing up at every possible opportunity. Which is very not awesome for me. No playoffs equals no money coming in equals less money in my paycheck equals less fun.

J-Bo may be coming to town this upcoming weekend which would be nice. We don't have any games so I'd have an entire weekend to relax or party or party and relax.

The 3EB album comes out in Feb. and I'm definitely looking forward to that.

I like my apt, but it's not like it was in college. It still doesn't feel like my own place. I mean, there's not a ton of room, so i'm not sure it really matters much. I have 12x12 space I can pretty much do whatever I want in. The roommates great, so that's not an issue, but there's just not much to this place. I've only been a host here once, and that was the day I first moved in.

I've become very indifferent about Dallas. I'm not sad here, I'm not (very) lonely. I'm not happy. There's better days and worse days. Never a great day, nothing miserable either. There's just nothing special about this place. Or maybe it's this time. I didn't expect this to be the most exciting time of my life, and it seems like maybe I was correct.

Probably not much order to this one. So bear with me. I hope the Stars start playing better. A playoff run is seriously needed. Marty is extremely inconsistent. It'd be nice to have Morrow back; He's currently out with a torn hammy. Wins vs. Buffalo tomorrow, and LA on Sat are crucial.

I've learned some new signs; I can officially speak American Sign Language as well as an 15 month old can speak English. I'm working in speeding up my fingerspelling.

I want to go to France. But, we're looking at a minimum $1000, one week trip.

The Razorback Basketball teams is quite possibly the most disappointing basketball team ever. How do you beat two top ten Big-12 teams, then get stomped by the two MISSISSIPPI teams? Really? It's MISSISSIPPI!!! It's the only state that keeps Arkansas from being the leader in poverty, teen pregnancy, and methamphetamine use.

Tomorrow is the DFW - SEC Cocktail Mixer. I have to go to the game (Stars vs. Sabres), but I'd like to stop by and check things out. I'd really like to meet some new Arkansas people. Hell, I'd like to meet some new people.

More later.

-Brandon

Non-Dairy Creamer

I started learning American Sign Language this weekend. I used to know a little, but I figured I have plenty of time on my hands. (bad pun) It really is interesting how a language can develop without any vocals. Hopefully I'll stick with it and learn enough to make something of it. There are lots of things I started and never finished, hobbies that is. We'll see where this goes.

Playoff football is boring when your team didn't make the playoffs.

In other news, my favorite band, Third Eye Blind, is releasing its new album in February. It is titled Ursa Major. The band released the Red Star EP in November with songs Non-Dairy Creamer, Red Star, and Why Can't You Be. You can tell Stephen Jenkins hasn't written in a long time. Don't get me wrong, his lyrics are amazing, but you can clearly tell he's at a different point in his life just by the tone of his lyrics. He's much more political (and a very strong Obama supporter), much more dramatic, much more puzzling. The guy is one crazy, beautiful, insane son-of-a-bitch.

According to Wikipedia, the following is a list of possible songs. The first three of which were released on the Red Star EP.

List of possible songs

1. "Non-Dairy Creamer"
2. "Why Can't You Be"
3. "Red Star"
4. "Don't Believe a Word"
5. "Second Born" - Old Studio Recording Leaked
6. "Bonfire/Campfire" - Old Studio Recording Leaked
7. "Summer Town"
8. "Monotov's Private Opera"
9. "Alright Caroline"
10. "Jesse 2K/Days I Never Knew"
11. "Carnival Barker"
12. "Break Me" - Old Studio Recording Leaked
13. "About to Break"
14. "Why Can't We Be"
15. "Now I Don't Know"
16. "Swimming"
17. "In the Skin"
18. "Dao of St Peter"
19. "Stevie Ray Vaughan" - Old studio recording leaked
20. "Standing Up For You"
21. "A Sharp Knife"
22. "Persephone"

Many of these have been leaked and Carnival Barker has been release as an instrumental. The band has been performing many of these songs on tour for the last few years, but only some of them have actually been heard in a completed format. I'm very excited.

almost two years.

As a matter of fact, I had forgotten this blog even existed. I guess over the last 10 years or so i've developed and abandoned 10 or 12 of these. I usually make it a few weeks.

I live in Dallas now. I live in an apartment that's usually quiet. I have a fast-paced job, and a not so fast-paced life. I miss college a lot. Something about Northwest Arkansas left even the worst of days sunny with a high of 75. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy my life here. I would assume I have more friends than a new Texas resident normally does, mostly in part to my college roots.

I am amazed at how much more growing up I have coming. It seems like the older I get, the more I realize I have to learn. I guess that's ultimately a good thing. I'd rather be aware and maturing than strongly mistaken. A quiet apartment give you lots of time to think.

I was reading my post from when I started this blog; I've come a long way. I guess we'll see if I keep up with it this time.