why it's been over a year since my last post...

I'll apologize in advance for the length and misdirected subject matter of this post. I get in these moods where I'll type whatever seems to be on my mind, and i'm usually guilty of overanalyzing, and portraying my thoughts with the prolixity and loquaciousness of a 10th grade english teacher... ...See? It generally results in a roller coaster of paragraphs where i'll attempt to cram in as much depth and self-discerning phrases as possible. Please enjoy the ramblings of a fickle twenty-something.

I feel as though the older I get, the more obsessive compulsive i've become. This obsessive compulsiveness however, when mixed with a strong hint of restlessness and a fear for showing anything other than confidence and consistency has left me with quite an interesting lifestyle.
I know nobody reads these post, but months later, when i go back and ready my own two-hundred word testimonials, it takes a strong effort to prevent myself from deleting them. I've probably created a half dozen or so blog sites since the world web was over-run with social media dripping with vanity and narcissism. It's impossible to resist though, right? I never even feel as though i have content or purpose behind a successful blog. It sounds a bit self-depricating, but i would argue anyone with a pulse is susceptible to self-promoting forums such as facebook, twitter or blogger. We live in a world of self-marketing, where we are branded and asked to promote ourselves in anyway possible. Jobs, romance, friendships, even family are directly linked to our online lives. Every time i go back and read my post i'm bothered by how I might have portrayed myself.
However, there is a silver lining, and this is the reason i'm driven back to these blogs. It is great to see how i might have grown. As a twenty-three year old, i like to imagine this is the result of slipping in and currently surviving a quarter life crisis of sorts, but it always brings me comfort to see how i've grown. I have every reason in the world to be excited about the direction i may be headed. I've been lucky to avoid tragedy thus far in my life, but i hope that when it befalls me, i'm prepared with courage and the ability to look past it. I may not have found the answers i was looking for yet, but i always find a reason to push forward. I'm bless with family and friends that care for me and the curiosity to see what's next. This is why I write these post.